Angstful delivery

If someone is hurting you really badly, should you wait?

Everyone and thing seems to be on the "Irritate Jeremy" or "Hurt Jeremy" streak nowadays..
A potential date, a "best" friend, Promo grades.
But if everyone is doing it, then could it be me instead?
Am I the problem?

Is it wrong to want a friendship so beautiful that nobody can break it? Not even boyfriends, or girlfriends or families or distance or natural disasters? Is that too much of an ideal?
I used to have such friends, or maybe i thought I had them.. I think i still have ONE such friend. Or maybe not.

Maybe I was so deluded that I had the perfect friendship in the past that now, this subjectively "little" flaw is blowing up into a big deal..

Maybe YOU don't want to be my friend anymore. - Ok that previous sentence sounded something a Primary school kid would say - But it can be true.

Maybe it's your family that is preventing you from being my friend? Religion? Your boyfriend?
Or is it me? Am I too judgemental that you don't want me to be included in your life?
Or are you just too horny and jaded that you only concentrate on your boyfriend?
'Cos I ABSOLUTELY REFUSE to believe it is because of "clashing schedules" that we cannot stay in contact. Unless you are that lousy and organiser or lousy a friend. In which, that case, you are not worth it. Not worth my effort.
Even though this may sound egotistical, but I am worth much more than such measly treatment. If this is how you treat your friends. Then i'm sorry to tell you honey, you ain't getting far in this world.

Why should it be weird for you to SMS me to tell me about your life? Why should it be weird for me to do the same? Why would it be weird for us to call and talk nonsense?

But lets be fair to you. Perhaps you have your reasons. If only you would tell me and stop being so wishy washy. And I can decide on whether to concentrate on whether to pursue the friendship or not.. Don't leave me hanging there.. Just tell me the bare facts.

Yes. I have heard of selfless love.. But, this ain't worth my effort.

Bad enough my "best friend" wished me Happy Birthday 30mins before the day ended. I thought you were overseas with reception problems. Or perhaps you were planning a surprize party or even a gathering that you didn't want me to know about. But to no avail. You were with family the entire day. And that is the reason why you wished me at 2330 on 14th oct. A simple sms. I'm not worth the effort?

Send me an email. Send me a letter. Tell me what the fucking problem is... Coz i still REFUSE to believe it is because of schedule clashes that you can't even wish your friend, much more supposed best friend, an early Happy Birthday.

If that is the case, then, really.. I have nothing to say anymore. Really nothing.. Then you are not worth it. Then I have wasted my time with you.
Then I have wasted time telling my dates that I have two best friends that care and love me.



Then I am deluded.