Today is the 18th of September

exactly 4 and a half years from March 18th 2006.

Mourn the end of an era.

Burn. Heart. Aches.

Rains. Eyes. Soulless.

Chances are choices.

Have a little faith, dream

A little dream, breathe

A little while, take

A journey...

Yet, value what's lost, hold

A little closer, cherish

A little more, feel

Our hearts as one, again.

Chances are, we

Never really know, what

To expect, what

Outcomes revealed, and

That is a risk, and

Those are my choices.

-jho.

E-piphany on the train ride home

I just had an ephiphany. Why are people in Singapore (and i don't mean just Singapore citizens) rushing into the train all the time? They don't let the existing train passengers alight first and prefer to barge their way into the train.

Reason 1: Yes, Kiasu-ism. [*note to foreigners: google the term]. The 'die die must win', cannot lose attitude that all Singaporeans have. But it's beyond that!

It's because...

Reason 2: The Singapore population is lazy! Just plain L A Z Y. I have noticed time and time again, the same people standing lip-locked with the train entrance are the ones dashing for the next available seat to plaster their tefal-flat bums on.

Think about it. We have trains that ferry u across a distance which only takes a 20mins walk. We'd rather wait 2mins for a lift than walk up 2 flights of stairs. When was the last time u saw someone voluntarily choose the stairs nearby when the oh-so-ergonomic escalators 10metres away are empty?

Reason 3: Herd mentality. If others are doing it, I'll do it also lah.

Even if one's Not kiasu or lazy, if u have herd mentality: (sub-consciously) Aiya, since everyone already like that lazy and kiasu, I also follow lor.

It's a vicious cycle!

I used to have issues about such mentalities and it irked the hell out of me. Not anymore! Call it apathy with age ;)

[Help Me!] However, when a rather large woman slightly shorter than I am starts unprovokedly caressing your upper back with her E-cups and you suddenly wonder when did OSIM & SMRT tie up for a standing unit massage chair, you begin to ponder about the close encounters.

You know i'm only writing this blogpost now on the train to occupy myself with my random intellect. Anything to distract me (omg, seriously) from thinking she might enjoy her evening-shift as a massage fixture on the singapore trains.

BeWITCHed, (certainly) Bothered & Bewildered,

-jho.

要不要(Yao Bu Yao) by Vocaluptuous

Don't know why, i'm just obsessed with this song and the arrangement! Gosh. Call me a groupie.

J'ai compris tous les mots, j'ai bien compris, merci

Raisonnable et nouveau, c'est ainsi par ici

Que les choses ont changé, que les fleurs ont fané

Que le temps d'avant, c'etait le temps d'avant

Que si tout zappe et lasse, les amours aussi passent

Il faut que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs

Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures

J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes

Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Fallait pas commencer m'attirer me toucher

Fallait pas tant donner moi je sais pas jouer

On me dit qu'aujourd'hui, on me dit que les autres font ainsi

Je ne suis pas les autres

Avant que l'on s'attache, avant que l'on se gache

Je veux que tu saches

J'irai chercher ton coeur si tu l'emportes ailleurs

Même si dans tes danses d'autres dansent tes heures

J'irai chercher ton ame dans les froids dans les flammes

Je te jetterai des sorts pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je trouverai des langages pour chanter tes louanges

Je ferai nos bagages pour d'infinies vendanges

Les formules magiques des marabouts d'Afrique

Je les dirai sans remords pour que tu m'aimes encore

Je m'inventerai reine pour que tu me retiennes

Je me ferai nouvelle pour que le feu reprenne

Je deviendrai ces autres qui te donnent du plaisir

Vos jeux seront les notres si tel est ton desir

Plus brillante plus belle pour une autre etincelle

Je me changerai en or pour que tu m'aimes encore

21st: from Minor to Major

What has changed?

My signature carries legal value, I can be declared bankrupt, I can officially watch R(A) movies, I'm allowed into more clubs... Responsibility.

I'm officially my own man. Independent.

Parents, at least Chinese ones, dread this day. The day whereby we officially "chi4 bang3 ying4 le4" = "wings are hard now". The Age of Majority. How many times have I heard my mother say, "when you hit 21 then see how... when you hit 21 then you'll see.. when you hit 21...."

Well mom, 21 is 32mins away.

She just asked me, "Are you happy?", I assume about the dinner at the Brazillian place on sixth ave, the generous gift from both of them, and the ice-cream cake.

But it made me think. For a moment. Am I happy?

Yeah. I am. I may be cynical at times, jaded at most, even display traces of malcontent, but when it comes down to true happiness - yes I am.

I have what I want. Great relationship, great friendships, family trying to be as supportive as possible, good education, a well-rounded lifestyle. I am happy.

Yet, why do I feel a nagging self-doubt? Almost like I have more to prove because i'm 21; an adult. Like I can't depend on my youth to get away with as much things as I have. Really, is hitting 21 a blessing? How many times I hear people lament about their youthful days, wishing they were younger and that they can do it all over again.

I bet this is one of the more enjoyable times of my life, being an undergrad. And that I will miss it once it's over. Yes, live life to the fullest. But why do I constantly worry that I'm not. That i'm missing out. That I will regret. Paranoia?

When I was asked to make a wish at the birthday cake just, I really couldn't think of anything material to wish for. Not any new shoes, new clothes, new laptop, paid vacation. Nothing of sort. Is this adulthood? hahaha!

Beyond 21, no more "official stages" in a person's lifespan.

I am happy. I'm an adult. Jeremy has came of age. The Age of Majority. Time to live, in the real world. 5mins to adulthood.

Happy 21st Birthday Jeremy. Live well.

Thinkin of you ;)

If I never feel you in my arms again, If I never feel your tender kiss again, If I never hear I love you now and then, Will I never make love to you once again? Please understand... if love ends, then I promise you, I promise you that that i shall never breathe again, breathe again, breathe again, that i shall never breathe again  And I can't stop thinking about about the way things used to be, and i can't stop thinking about, about the love that you made to me, and i can't get you out of my head, how in the world will i begin to let you walk right out my life and blow my heart away? and i can't stop caring about about the apple of my eye and i can't stop doing without without the center of my life and i can't get you out of my head and I know I can't pretend, that I won't die if you decide you won't see me again    And I can't stop thinking about about the way my life would be, No, I can't stop thinking about, how could you love me then leave? and i can't get you out of my mind, God knows how hard I've tried, and if you walk right out my life God knows I'd surely die and i can't stop doing without without the wailing of my heart no i can't stop doing without for i would surely fall apart and i can't get you out of my mind and I know I can't deny it and I would die if you decide you won't see me again...

I Love Singapore because...

We speak english, sometimes.....

Just kill me already! LOLOL! ROFL!

Quote a friend, Rey: "Actually it's Leper prins, Zipbra prins, kucky grin, booms, piss off bigeeni (with jins of course), and all the above must be Rat and Lout."

The Great Leap Forward

Hello Jeremy.

Do you know that tomorrow will be your first day of the rest of your life; your university life begins. Really, it kind of marks the start of you taking charge of your education and the path you want to take in life.

I know as I am writing this, it is actually time for you to hit the sack because you are still nursing a sore throat and lethargy from all that partying a few days ago. So please, take care of your health.

I cannot believe it is the day tomorrow. When University life begins.

How long ago was it that you were at your first day at MDC? Looking lost and feeling overwhelmed by all those talents. Feeling that you finally belong somewhere in National Service.

How long ago was it when you first shaved your head at BMT, marched, climbed and did all those memorable but dreadful things.

How long ago were you still in Junior College, pinning at the day you will begin University life. Mugging for your A Levels. Admiring the Undergraduate lifestyle and "coolness".

How long ago was it when you have constantly dreamed to be a Lawyer and the excitement of law school.

Oh Jeremy, how life have spun you around. Secured and excited with a place in Business School now. Anticipating yet, still very afraid of the new environment and study load.

Who knows what's going to happen in these 4 years ahead for you. Opportunities of friendship, of academic growth, intellectual maturity, cultural exchanges, vibrant travels...

Who knew you would one day be in SMU LKCSB and be very content and happy for yourself. Who knew that you would become the person you are today, "burdened" with the task to succeed.

Who knows what I will write to you, 4 years down the road, when you have landed your first job.

All I can tell you is that it is going to be an arduous journey. Lots of ups and downs and middles. Lots of news, olds.

C'mon Jeremy. Let's start our journey together in 8 hours time. Have fun and remember to stay true to yourself.

C'est la chose la plus importante!

Love,

Jeremy Ho Jia Jun, B.BM

-jho.sleep.

Lady GaGa - Live in Singapore 2009. "Haus of GaGa",

The concert was just awesome! Partied like mad! Screamed, hollered, shouted, danced, played.

She was just awesome. In a time where pop stars start to look and sound alike, none different from every other, GaGa is just a breath of fresh air!

Catchy tunes, powerful fashion, good singing and control, shock factor. Love her! I hope she goes real far and be the NEXT MADONNA!

The opening act was Dharni and DJ Inquisitive. Very good set. New stuff from Dharni. Good job bro! You make us all proud! Dharni, btw, is the 8th in the International BeatBoxing Championships in Berlin this year. And the TOP contender in Asia, i.e. Asia's No. 1!

Sorry bad photo. Haha. I have better ones on Facebook.

We had to wait from 8pm till 9pm (opening set finished at 8:40) before Lady GaGa came on. Was quite tired by then.

Took this photo while waiting. Went with Ray and my sis. The plastic fans that F1 gave out was really really useful in the suffocating heat.

When she came on, woah! Energy just rushed back!

She opened with Paparazzi, hidden in some form of a formation with three shields. Such a powerful song to open with. I'm still having the goosebumps reliving that exact moment when she came on.

Following that, she did a few numbers, can't remember the order. She performed Beautiful Dirty Rich, The Fame and Love Game next.

Didn't really use to like the song Eh, Eh (Nothing Else I Can Say) but somehow it fit the set very well. It was a Sing-along song with her and some silly action with the fingers and hands. Very lovely!

She did Just Dance and it was just party party party!

It was about here where she said that she loved Singapore's Chilli Crabs and the crowd went wild! Haha. Apparently, this concert was the "biggest crowd she ever drew by herself". She said it was about 10,000 people. Who knew...

Also, before she did Money Honey, she always asks "What do I hate most in the world?", and the crowd was like - - - - - -. I screamed "MONEY!" My sis asked me how i knew.. Haha. GaGa fan babe! C'est moi!

Look at her mic stand! I want that too! Darn cool.

I love it when she sang Boys, Boys, Boys! Before the song she said, "Where are all my gay boys at?!" and the whole park was like - - - - - - - - -. I don't know what got into me, concert high i suppose, I just stood up and SCREAAAMMMED! LOL. I think I made quite the fool of myself that evening..

Took a quote from her concert, everyone laughed when she said, "I'm just a blonde bitch with bubbles". OMG. GaGa. You rock! "Motherfucker", "fuck", "fuck you" were extensively used as well. Yeah...

It was about here when she did Brown Eyes.

Of course, how can she end her concert without doing her MEGA HIT, Poker Face! She did the acoustic version, asking the audience to sing along first. Finally bursting into the heavy beats and powerful synths! The crowd went mad!!!!!!

Sensational Songs. Pulsating Performance. Absurd Fashion. Expletives. Only One Lady GaGa.

-jho.convocation.

Bondue 2009, Biz Sch Rocks!

The past few days have been a blast! Literally!

11th August

Arrived at Lee Kong Chian School of Business (LKCSB) concourse. Lots of people with sleeping bags etc. Didn't really need to bring much, stuffed all my sleep gear in my locker few days ago when I had to car to drive down. How forward thinking de moi!

Day got off to an ok start. Got to know my group mates and made a few friends along the day.

If you love to party, SMU Biz is the school TO GO! The first day was mainly filled with dirty, crazy activities. Round one, station games or rather, games where they put

mud, soy sauce, sand, powdered detergent, toothpaste, chilli sauce, ketchup, oyster sauce, fruits, peanut butter, wasabi, chocolate sauce, flour, dirt water, vegetables, poultry

in and on your

hair, shirt, shorts, underwear, face, mouth, nose, eyes, body.

ALL the games included something dirty. There were 10 stations of such games, and I will mention one or two.

Game: Play captain's ball with poultry from the supermarket. No ball. The uncooked full chicken is the ball. Forfeit? My team won, so, rub a piece of large squid with flour on the inside on our faces. The losing team? Pass uncooked bloody chicken thigh with their mouths from one team member to the next, timed.

Game: Put on a bra, roll on matt covered with some of the above rubbish and loads of soap water. Collect as much sponges as possible, run to end of matt to squeeze dry sponges and wet clothes. Collect most amount of water to win.

Bonus points, get as dirty as possible. Roll in pool of mud. Dirtiest team gets bonus points.

There are 8 more of such games. Surprisingly - and i'm not one for such crazy games - I had loads of fun! I suppose because the direction of the games was not so much of "forced team bonding", more of HAVE A CRAZY DIRTY FUCKING TIME! :D

@ Night was Fright night. They constructed 4 rooms in school and made a haunted house concept. It was quite good i must say. I screamed in the last room; a toilet with red painted over the entire mirror and basin, and "live corpses" around the floor and in the cubicles. No points for guessing when I screamed! Haha. They came charging in a small space. Scary.

12th August

Amazing race day. Went around Singapore and did many many silly activities. At the end of the day, the most "daring" activity was to force two guys/ a guy and a girl to kiss and/or pass tiny pieces of food to each other with our mouths.

Shows how sexually concerned and reserved Singaporeans are really. To have that as the biggest dare option. Haha. Like, it has almost become predictable after the 5th station.

Because the face paint station happened to be our first, my group had to walk all around town area with our faces in red & white Ronald MacDonald style paint. Caught quite a bit of attention there :) Haha. Fun.

@ Night - I went for Lady GaGa's Concert! More on that next!!

After the concert, it was back to partying again in the school. Abundance of alcohol, with drinking games and the seminar room converted into a dance floor and a DJ! Cool shit! Danced and sweat my night. Was quite sloshed. Don't even remember half of what I did that night. Well, maybe not ;) Now recovering from a sore throat and cold from that night. Hollered, cheered too much in one evening. Pain. Lost my clubbing streak and staying power years ago.. hahha.. aiyo, i'm so "old".

Picture from the drinking games in our room.

13th August

Break Camp. Most of the "alcohol people" woke at about 10am. One team only woke at about 12pm! Haha. Good memories. Good fun :)

Now. Reality Check. Time-table's out. Materials uploaded by professors.

Two years 8 months of zero contact with a full length essay and now..... Classes are starting.....

-jho. blog. teach.

Points to note

Un) Just bought my new study chair! Black. Cheap. Comfortable. Only $75 bucks.

Deux) Going to pick Pat up from the airport later ;) Serving the deserving like a good "hubby". How domestic! I love driving in the night! Empty streets, good music.

Trois) Going for the school of business camp on 11th. Hope it's not going to be a chore.

Quatre) Lady GaGa 12th August @ Fort Canning! EXCITED!

Cinq) Cool song by a Canadian (I think) group. Don't know why I suddenly thought of it. Ahh maybe because of point Deux :)

Six) Wishlist on the right is not my idea. Pat said he always doesn't know what to get me, and I suppose it's hard. I hate to be self-promoting, but here's the rationale: Might as well get something I like on the 14th October than some random gift of god knows what eh? At least then I don't have to fake it. LOL.

-jho.drive.Will&Grace Season 2.

Get off my property! ;)

Singapore is really getting too crowded to live in!

Apparently there was an MRT delay today at Jurong MRT (no, not a strike, we're not french). And I needed to be at NUH by 8:45am. I left my house at 7:45am which is usually more than enough, approximately 5-7mins early. But when i arrived at Jurong to change to the next train, the platform was half filled with people! Literally. It looked like NDP came to Jurong on a weekday lah!

No one could get in to the train, there was a queue. Intended to take a picture of the scene but was afraid of running late! So instead, went to take the bus at the interchange. Similarly, the berths were packed with people! I don't usually take the bus in the morning so i'm not sure if this is common, but when I got on the bus, smells (a mix of chanel no.5, some armani and pit-sweat) were the only thing I could think about. Crazy! And then the bus driver kept shouting for the passengers to move back, in Mandarin. I looked around, half the people were of other races lah. Of course don't understand right?

I wonder if this bus scene was how 70s Singapore was like.

It also struck me that the MRT scene I witnessed this morning oddly resembles the documentaries I watched about India and its rails. Especially since I saw many many indian workers squeezing along at Jurong this morning.

Crowded lah Singapore now.. Sianxzsxzsxxszsx

-jho.

Complete: Biddig.

Just completed bidding for my modules in the first term of my Undergrad studies. Yes we have to bid for the modules online. Kinda like the system really. Gives you a lot of flexibility to plan your schedule and incorporate activities and/or work,

If all goes well, and I will know by Friday 12noon, it should look like this:

Lundi - MGMT002 Tech & World Change

Mardi -

Mecredi - COMM101 Management Communication

Jeudi - MATH101 Calculus (What a bore! I'm forced to do it)

Vendredi - LGST 101 Business Law + CORE002 Analytical Skills

Tuesdays off! Yay! Haha.

I just hope I can juggle work and study commitments. Don't wanna be too shagged out by the end of this year.

Anyway, wanted to share with you this collection of City Photo Blogs. How I wish i had the time and dedication to do a Singapore version. I think there are about 2/3 local ones here already. Check it out!

Patrick says i've caught the travel bug, yes I have. Gosh.. so many places, so little time!!

-jho.

La Mode: Deux

Italian Chic! Well-tailored mocha suit, bright blue fitting shirt, a dash of cheveux à la poitrine, and hair that floats in the wind. Simple Time-less. Just plain fab.
Wow. Very casual fab. As YSL once said, "fashions fade, style is eternal".
Ya know what. The sad thing here is, if one were to pull off this look on the roads of SG, it would be laughed at, ridiculed or probably get both whispers and grunts of "ah kua!" (Gay in hokkien). Sigh. This is such a play on fabrics and textures. DOWN WITH CONSERVATIVE FASHION!
Hot Daddy! Very BritishIndia! And the boy.. So cute, so fashionable at such a young age.. I need a tan tote! Then I can pull off my version of this look :D

P.D.A

Just had a thought come across my head.

I have never been one who is pro-PDA. I think a lot of couples do it artificially, especially those young tweens at the neighbourhood malls. I mean c'mon, who really needs to hold hands walking in the mall with your school uniform and school bag? And we see this A LOT during Valentine's day.

Never artificial PDA; natural PDA is the way to go - as and when it feels natural, go for it.

Yet, as I am becoming more and more at ease with my sexuality, including the people around me, I have discovered that I'm less adverse to PDA. I'm not speaking of blatant tongue lashings or nimble fingers traversing around erogenous zones while clothed in public, i'm starting to like the idea of the hand around the waist whilst going down the escalator or leaning against each other on a park bench or maybe even the occasional surprise long hug from the back when meeting for the first time that day.

I don't know how common place gay PDA is in Singapore, but if the govt and its peoples are supposedly apathetic towards les homosexs, then why are there so few couples - including my own r/s - practicing PDA.

Fear? Social Stigma? Or is it because of the culture of Singapore, i.e. lacking in romance, warmth, community, open affection?

I find it odd. And frankly a little jealous that some couples can openly hug or be close to each other, especially among close friends who know of them as couples. But at the moment it seems only one-sided.

-jho.teach(sigh).footmassage!(hopefully)

My love for The United States of America.

Sometimes the US can really get on my nerves. Their take on foreign policy - correction, PREVIOUS take on fp, their manners (i've been my share of bad american behaviour here in SG), their ignorance and the list goes on. Of course these are generalisations.

But the recent NYU-ThioLiAnn debate made me believe in you guys again! :D

And unlike many of the weak student bodies in Singapore, you guys dared to stand up to your seniors and coerced for, no wait, respectfully questioned their decisions.

Eat that Thio Li-Ann! And stop trying to compare the States to Singapore! We may be better than them in many aspects, but definitely not in Human Rights. You wanna talk about western "colonialism"? the fucking 377A legislature is FROM THE WEST! Even india is getting rid of it. Keep up with the times lah!

And Ms Singapura, if you continue to go sashaying this down-trodden path of conservatism, be sure that more and more doors will close. Once malaysia opens that ship port along the malaysian peninsula, where will you stand?

I really hope my generation is less bigoted and sex-sensitive.

-jho.Thio Li-Ann and her Mother should just go form a pop-girl band duo.

The S.I.N.Gs! (the Straw In Nose Gals).

Links:

http://abovethelaw.com/2009/07/thio_li_ann_hates_perversity.php

http://abovethelaw.com/2009/07/dr_li-ann_thio_v_random_nyu_la.php#more

Curveball. Hazard. Believe.

When life throws you a curveball, you never know what to do except the right thing.

What is the right thing? Socially acceptable? Religiously granted? Morally appropriate?

I don't know if I have done the right thing. If it's the right choice, for me, for my life.

But it does start to feel clear again.

Right.....

So. When life throws you a curveball, do you dodge it? Or try and catch it?

So many life questions, so many missing answers.

So young, so mature. Pfff.. Logic never served anyone much good here.

"Follow your heart"

What a load of crap... That veiny organ gives you nothing but a lumpy mess. One lumpy crazy mess. Like how when you have too many appliances and wires at one socket. One lumpy crazy fire hazard. Don't know what leads where.

Say, "trust. in a power bigger than yourself". Say it. Now believe it please.

-jho.sleep.workweek.

Blurred

I just discovered that maybe I like to be short-sighted.

I like how it allows you to not see clearly when you have your glasses or contacts off.

Your vision is blurred. You feel serene. At peace with the world. Out of depth.

Crying is best when your glasses are off. The colours, the objects, the lights, all a blurry mess.

Makes you feel like you're not in control; one of the rare occasions, almost like you can tell or say anything and it doesn't matter. You're vulnerable, your heart is open. Beyond logic, beyond being sensible.

"You're right"

I just discovered that maybe I like to be vulnerable once in a while. When the world is not going your way and you just have no say. You cannot change the world. It's untouchable.

"Je t'aime"

I like it. I hope I wouldn't bask in the blur forever. But right now. It's all that I can want.

-jh.YouI.nc.

Wanda Sykes on Gay Marriage

LOL! Must watch!